I'm still trying to get the hang of this blogging thing. I did pretty good when I used MySpace, but recently, I have neglected one of my favorite things, just writing. I get these wonderful thoughts that I would like to share, but almost never when I am in a place that I can just write. I feel like that by the time I actually get to my computer I end up babbling....so if you are reading this, I hope you enjoy my dribble.
One question that has been weighing heavily on my mind is how my youngest daughter will ever have a functional relationship, when she has never seen one. I mean, she sees the same people I do, and a few of them do have good marriages, but as far as on a day to day, or even on any kind of regular basis, she's never seen anything resembling a good relationship.
Lets start with me and her father....we were complete dysfunction, but since we were only really together from the time she was 2-5, she really doesn't remember much about that. She went through our divorce, she went through his divorce from his third wife, and his breakup from his last girlfriend. And I won't forget to turn the finger back around to point to myself. I have been married twice. I was married to my first husband for 8 years, and my youngest, Laneybug, knows all about that because of her older brother and sister, who were products of that marriage. Then of course she knows about her father and I. After TR and I divorced I tried to squash the hurt by dating. I was 33 years old and was determined to overcome 2 failed marriages. It didn't take me long to figure out that dating just was not worth the trouble. So after one more "WTF was I thinking relationship", I basically gave up dating many years ago. There have been a few out of the blue exceptions....the young Ivorian athlete who pulled me out of my funk initially, A., who I went out with very briefly before becoming best friends for the next 3 years. I've had a couple of very long distance relationships, which I think my daughter appreciates the most, because with those she would only have to share me a couple of times a year for a couple of weeks. But now that she is getting close to the age that she might start thinking about dating, I don't know what to expect, with her not having had any good examples. She seems to have a natural ease with people in general, which I always thought was one of my strong points, but apparently doesn't help me much in the one-on-one relationship department. I guess what I'm trying to ask is how can I teach my daughter about relationships or give any advice, when I've never had one that worked?
